A Million Dreams
by arianna99
Summary: First date - relationship - meet the family - anniversary - marriage. Except that's not really the way they do things. Alex/Addison


-1-

-1-

The first morning she wakes up in his apartment, it's to warm sheets but an empty bed and the smell of pancakes wafting through the open door.

She pulls on last night's underwear and a shirt of his she finds in the closet and wanders into the kitchen. He looks up from the stove and smiles, taking in her appearance from tousled red hair down impossibly smooth, long legs ending in manicured toes. This is who she is, he thinks, the classy lady, used to being freaking royalty, while he is this uncultured brute who should, by rights, be serving her hand and foot.

She cuts her pancake neatly into sixteenths before pouring syrup on it, placing each piece carefully into her mouth and chewing thoroughly. He cuts his into fourths and shoves them in.

They watch each other surreptitiously over the orange juice, but as soon as the other notices they look away quickly, like embarrassed teenagers, even though there should be no such compulsions considering what they did last night, what they've both been fantasizing about for weeks, months.

Their eyes catch just the once, and she looks down, blushes, crosses her ankles under the table.

Finally, he can't hold back his instinctive reaction: slightly panicked laughter.

"What?" She asks, sounding more than a little amused herself.

He wipes off his mouth, meets her inquisitive eyes. "I feel like…you're Constance Chatterly and I'm Oliver Mellors."

She nearly chokes one her piece of pancake with laughter. "I…" She gasps out, "I was thinking more along the lines of Baby and Johnny."

His eyes flash in challenge and he grins. "So I'm Patrick Swayze?"

"Only if you teach me how to Cha Cha."

They smile at each other over the table, a quiet sort of connection running high between them, and they both know that this feels _good, right. _But still… "Alex," she says, quietly, "what are we doing?"

He sobers, and sees in her eyes that this is not the moment to say, 'eating breakfast', however tempted he may be. "We're…we're a guy and a girl who happen to date. And do sinful things to each others bodies."

She runs a hand through her hair. "But…I'm your boss. I'm older than you. I have Derek baggage. And Mark baggage."

He gets up, grabs their dishes, rubs a spot of syrup off her cheek. "So? I have baggage too. I've got daddy issues to rival Meredith's and my track record is probably worse than yours. Anyway," he grins over his shoulder at her as he sets the dishwasher to run, "I think we're both adult enough to keep a relationship out of work, unlike some other people."

She smiles back, brushes her hair from her neck and gracefully stands to slink over to him so close he can actually feel the softness of her skin against his. "Yeah," she says. "You're right."

Her eyes are even prettier close up, even- especially- without make up. He swallows. "On…second thought," he says, "you're way too sexy to pull off Baby."

"Mm," she says, smiling her Mistress of All that is Evil smile. "Just have to settle for being Addison then."

And she kisses him before he gathers enough wits to come up with an answer to that.

-2-

He makes good on his promise of keeping it out of work. Not once do they meet in the lobby and walk out together, or grab a beer at Joe's before heading home. The rules are clear. Clear, orderly and good. At work he's her intern (and soon after resident), and their relationship is entirely professional. Perhaps a bit of friendship sneaks in, but they're both secure enough not to translate anything going on in their relationship to the job. Which, sadly, means no sex in the on-call rooms, but that's probably a good thing.

It also means that whenever they have a disagreement about how to handle a case, it does not transfer over to their outside life. It's a clear cut straight through that allows both of them time to go home, shower, change after surgery with Dr. Montgomery attempting to teach Dr. Karev before they meet up as Addison and Alex, to people who just happen to be dating.

It works surprisingly well, though. She'll drive over to his place (She has a car. He doesn't. She's offered to drive him in the morning, but he says that's mixing work and pleasure. Anyway, he likes the run in the morning on the way to work. It clears his head for the day), and they'll go out or stay in, depending on mood. Alex is a surprisingly good cook. She asks him once where he learned.

He sighs, serves her food, then looks up with that smile, the one where he's being honest because he wants to tell you, wants you to know. "I ever tell you about my dad?"

Addison shrugs. The rumour mill is as good as ever, she's heard wild things about Daddy Karev.

"So…" Alex says. "You probably know he was an alcoholic."

Addison nods. She wanted to ask, but…it's not something you want to force anyone to talk about.

"And you've probly heard he beat the shit out of my mom, and me, and took all sorts of drugs?"

Again, she nods.

"My…my parents, they got married straight out of high school. Lived on grandma's cooking for years. She died when I was seven. My dad had been drifting before with his career, which was…not there, because no one wants a mediocre musician, and with the alcohol, he said it inspired him. Without her there to push him, he just went down. Got resentful of her, for dying, for thinking he wasn't good enough. Got resentful of mom for not knowing how to cook and stuff on her own. Got resentful of me for being in the way. So…my mom and I learned how to do that sort of shit together. Well, I learned how and she tried to, but she wasn't that good at it." Alex smiles briefly, bitterly. "Cause, you know, we loved him. Back then. We did. He was my dad, he was who I wanted to be. So we tried to make him happy."

Alex draws a shuddering breath, and Addison is out of her seat and by his side in seconds. He isn't done, though. "It hurts, y'know. When, when you want nothing more than for them to tell you they love you and that they're proud and nothing you do is ever good enough. So you keep trying. We tried for…forever. He started hitting her, and I didn't- couldn't let myself believe it. I started wrestling because I was so mad at him and I didn't want to be, because that was wrong, it's wrong to hate your own father that much. And then he actually hit her in front of me, so I hit him right back."

She's running her hands through his hair, a bit longer now than when they first met, waiting for him to finish. She isn't going to rush him. "He left after that. He…he left. We should've been the ones to leave, years ago, but it was him. Like we were the ones who'd screwed up. Like we were the guilty ones."

There are tears running down his cheeks when he stops talking, and the food is probably long since cold, but she really couldn't care less as she pulls him close and lets him cling to her. Because maybe they'd both been a bit battered by their lives, but they're okay. They're really okay, even if times like these make it hard to believe.

Alex sighs out the last of his tears, then turns his head just a tiny bit to face hers. "You're fantastic, you know?"

She smiles against his lips. "Nah. You, though."

In her mind, that conversation is a Point in their relationship. It explains a lot of who he is, why he never asks her for anything, because he was so used to not getting it anyway.

In her mind, that is their first step on the longish road to "I love you".

She ends up staying over basically every night. His apartment is nice, close to the hospital, had a good view. She's lived in fancy penthouses and the brownstone for years before, the homey cosyness of his apartment makes her feel at home. It's unsurprising that her shampoo is in the shower next to his, and that she's taken over more than half his closet, which he doesn't get at all since they wear scrubs all day anyway (she takes it on herself to prove the relative merits of a sexy outfit after that, and they both remember that lesson for several days). Eventually, he tosses her a copy of the key.

"You might as well stop paying for the hotel room," he says, smiling his crooked, cocky smile. "If you want to."

-3-

The first time either of them crosses the line at work, it's him. He had lost a teenage girl in her eighth month, and it was okay for that to hurt. It so was.

That doesn't stop it being miserable, though. After her family leaves, he barricades himself in a supply closet and forces himself to take slow, deep breaths. And Addison sees him go in.

Alright, so it had been her crossing the line, but if that had been her going into the closet, she knew he'd have been there in an instant. Of course she follows him.

She doesn't say anything. They both knew you can't save them all, but that doesn't make it any better. She just sinks down to sit with him. He interlaces their hands and she leans her head against him, trying to give what comfort she can.

No one catches them, which may or may not be bad. To Addison, it's the moment she knows she loves him.

-

Naomi drops by for an unexpected visit. It's been almost two years since they've seen each other, but they've been talking more recently via phone. Alex rolls his eyes when he sees her giggling down the phone line while painting her toenails, but that's okay by her (and she may not know it, but it's one of those moments that gives him the epiphany she only got in a supply closet).

"So, you're telling me," Naomi says quite seriously over a cup of coffee on Addison's day off, as they sit in the kitchen, "that you've been dating Intern Boy for months and are now living with him, and no one knows."

Addison considers, then nods.

"Even though your ex-boyfriend, your ex-husband and his ex-girlfriend all work with you."

Addison nods again.

"That is…impressive."

Addison grins and nods emphatically.

"You can stop doing that now."

She meets Alex later that night. Her first reaction is something along the lines of, "ooh, pretty!"

Alex looks mildly amused and shoots her a look that says, '_okay, right. Whatever,' _when they get into a deep, involved conversation about Prada.

Naomi waits until he's cooking dinner for them before she leans over and says, "Your boyfriend is cute, young, and he cooks. Keep him."

-

The other interns start to miss Alex after a while. Izzie asks first, but he evades their questions neatly and goes to Joe's with them more often after that. They don't leave it be, of course, but they learn not to question after a while.

One night, he stays later while Addison is pulling a night shift. Meredith has left to go at it with Shepherd, Cristina is in the process of painting her walls, and Izzie is avoiding George, so it's just him and O'Malley getting mildly drunk, listening to the people around them.

George is actually more than mildly drunk, having not dealt with another major Callie-Izzie showdown, when he turns to Alex and says, "You're lucky. Whoever she is, you're really lucky. I don't get why you get to be happy."

That night, when Addison crawls into bed and he spoons up behind her, he whispers, "I love you," before they go to sleep.

He's not quite asleep yet when he hears her say it back.

-4-

"Derek."

"Yes, Addison?"

"I have a favour to ask."

"Yes, Addison?"

"Could you…please, please, begging on my knees here, please take my shift tonight?"

"…why?"

"Because I asked you to?"

"Do you have a date?"

"…you could call it that…"

"Anyone I know?"

"I'm…not going to answer that. Will you take my shift?"

"Tell me who it is."

"What are we talking about?"

"Mark! Go away!"

"She has a date and needs me to cover for her."

"Oh, a date? Well, well."

"Derek. Will. You. Take. My. Shift?"

"…just this once."

And Addison walks away, glad to have her anniversary date. Also glad Mark and Derek are friends again. Or she will be, once they stop annoying the crap out of her.

Of course, given what she needs to tell Alex tonight, the other men in her life sort of fade to the background.

-

He doesn't react the way he thought he would. He thought he'd freak, screw up, go nuts. But what happens instead is that he's overwhelmingly, joyously happy. Like, so happy he picks her up and spins her around.

"We're…really?" he says.

"Yeah," she grins, and they laugh together, because he's the guy she wants to do this with, the one who'll barbeque and teach the kid to play baseball. And she's the woman he's never dreamed of having, and now they're having a child together.

-

She's the one who freaks out. She gets worried no one will take her seriously if she's as wide as she is tall and going through hormone swings, and when the sight of blood starts making her nauseous, she really, really freaks. She throws herself into her work no matter the strain, and they still don't tell anyone even as she reaches her second month.

When she swoons and nearly falls over during surgery, Alex has had enough. He marches her into an empty room, sits her down on the bed and proceeds to rant.

"I don't know why you're doing this! It's not healthy, for you or the baby. You need more sleep, you need more food, and you need to stop pushing youself. Addison, no one will think you're a worse doctor for this. No one will claim you're not doing your job. But if you keep this up, they just might put you on enforced bed rest."

His eyes are pleading with her to see reason, and she relents.

-

The first person she tells is Callie. Callie doesn't talk to her for two days, she's so pissed that Addison kept it all a secret for so long. She says she would've made it a week, but for the opportunity to look at the first sonogram.

She doesn't quite get the Alex thing until she sees the first time Addison succumbs to morning sickness at the hospital. He's with her as soon as he can be, holding back her hair, rubbing her back, being a good boyfriend.

They don't tell anyone else for a while, still not keen on bringing their private lives into work. It's been so long now that after telling everyone about them, telling them how long it had been would add an extra layer of awkward.

(Also, Addison is convinced she's an ugly fat old witch and Alex is too young for her. Alex begins to take issue with her hormones. )

Eventually, though, it's bound to happen. There's a big case- an accident, a woman pregnant with triplets with multiple injuries, in labour- with all hands on deck. Addison's been on her feet for almost six hours without sitting down, and the baby's pretty finicky about that. She's feeling a bit shaky, but the constant presence of Alex's eyes on her helps with that.

Unfortunately, the first cut makes her head spin.

"Addison," Alex says firmly when they notice her shaking. "Addison."

She looks up at him through the bout of nausea.

"Addison, are you alright?"

She shakes her head mutely and gestures toward the cut, where Bailey has already started operating, but is pausing to watch Addison.

"Okay," Alex says. "Just turn around."

She nods and turns, mask and gown constricting. He takes her trembling arms and guides her slowly, carefully out of the OR. "Okay," he says again in the scrub room, voice deceptively calm and quiet. "Now just sit down. You can have your back to everything, okay?"

She pulls of the mask, and gasps at the fresh air. "Yeah," she says. "Yeah, that's good. You'll…you'll call me if you need me, right?"

His eyes crinkle around the mask, he's smiling. "Yeah."

And he goes back in and saves those triplets while she leans against the wall taking deep, steady breaths.

Afterwards, she vanishes before they come out, because everyone will want to know what that was, and because they'll all smell like blood.

Alex showers off before finding her a smoothie, which is unbearably sweet of him.

Derek, who had watched the whole thing from behind his surgery glasses, joins them in the cafeteria while she slurps her smoothie. "So," he says, smiling the patented McDreamy smile. "You gonna tell me what that was?"

Addison looks up, wide-eyed. "That was. Um. That was…"

"Come on, we're friends now. Friends talk. Friends tell each other why they look at a surgery like they're about to puke before their friends go tell the Chief."

"Oh, you're such a-" she wants to say, 'four-year-old', but at that moment, a nurse walks by wafting the smell of mystery meat in their direction and Addison runs for the bathroom at full tilt.

"Damn," Alex says and goes after her.

Derek, being Derek, follows.

They wait outside the women's bathroom until Addison appears, looking shaky and grim.

"Addy," Alex says. "Take the rest of the day off, at least. You're driving me insane."

"Alex," she hisses, "We're at work."

He meets her glare coolly. "Yes, and if you faint while you're working and I have to catch you and _kill you _for not taking care of yourself, they'll catch on anyway. Or, you know, when you get fat."

Her glare dissolves into a pout.

"I didn't say it wasn't a good look on you," he backpedals.

"Ah," Derek says. "So, I gather you're dating."

Alex acknowledges him with a nod. Addison sighs internally- he has this thing where he doesn't think he can compete with Derek- and smiles nervously.

"That doesn't explain the incessant vomiting."

This time she sighs out loud. "That would be the…pregnant thing."

Derek's eyebrows shoot up. "The pregnant thing."

"The thing where his child rejects all nourishment but bagels and pizza."

"So…you are not only dating Alex Karev, you are also pregnant with his child?"

Derek is doing the clueless thing. It's somewhat cute, but also a bit annoying at this juncture. "Yes, I am," she says determinedly, wobbles a bit, then looks over to Alex. "I'll go…I'll go talk to the Chief now, okay? You're probably right, I should take the day off."

If she's admitting it, it must be bad. "Do you want me to come with?"

She glares. "Post-op, Karev."

He smiles. "Yes, ma'am."

-

Derek is a bit pissed off when they tell him how long he hasn't known this. Since they put no restraints on him, he's going to get revenge the best way he knows how.

He gathers all their friends together in the cafeteria and says, "I know what's wrong with Addison."

Drawn to gossip like bees to honey, they gather round.

"She's pregnant," he says, and enjoys.

Looks of shock all round, but Mark is the one who asks, "Whose is it?"

Derek eyes him warily- he doesn't look upset, or heartbroken, and he claims to be over Addison. He sounds…curious, actually. "Alex Karev."

Resounding silence greets that one. Then, suddenly, George O'Malley says, "She's Mystery Girl!"

Everyone stares at him. "Mystery Girl! You know, the random reason Alex stopped being sociable like a year ago."

Derek nods. "It has been a year. And they're actually living together."

Izzie and Meredith exchange glances. "As Alex's best friends," Izzie announces, "I think we have to kick his ass."

-

"Now," Richard says, "You're telling me you're pregnant."

"Yes," Addison says.

"And that the father is your resident."

"Yes."

Richard sighs. "Addison. Why didn't you tell me you were involved with an intern?"

"Because it had nothing at all to do with the hospital until right now," she answers, wishing she didn't have to do this. Or at least that she'd taken Alex up on his offer to accompany her.

"You're his boss."

Addison sighs, leaned back. "Yeah, I am. But up until now, no one has heard a whisper."

Richard still looks dubious.

"Look," she says. "We both worked hard to get where we are, both job-wise and relationship-wise. We weren't going to risk either in the Seattle Grace rumour mill."

Finally, Richard nods in acceptance. "I want you not to work to hard, okay? From what I've heard it's been difficult for you, so cut back."

Addison nods back and escapes.

-5-

She's in her eighth month when it happens.

She feels bloated and ugly, her sex drive is unpredictable as hell, and every time she gets up the baby dances on her bladder.

Alex is unbelievably patient. But then, she's always known he has hidden traits.

Their friends have been astounded to see them together over the last months, the clear happiness they share. Neither of them is overly surprised.

Right now Addison is lying on their new bed in their new baby-friendly apartment, getting an absolutely heavenly massage down her aching back, when Alex leans forward to whisper in her ear.

"Marry me."

Addison rolls over onto her back and pulls Alex into a deep kiss.


End file.
